Another couple of days

My ex comes over, he says he will do what I need to be done.  I sent him away.  I have to call my new love interest in Jersey.  I need to say something to him.  I need his support at this moment.  So I place the call. My love he speaks French, so we start the conversation.  I said I got tested like everyone is suppose to do before starting an intimate relationship.  I needed him to be here, I am scared, there is much I don’t know but am to go to the doctor tomorrow and see my favorite PA. The results of the test is reactive, I have HIV.  In French is is called VIH but either way it is the same.  There comes a long silence on the phone, I call his name, love are you still there?  At first he wants to talk but this mood quickly turns into frustration with a big dose of anger.  What did you just call me?  Even in French the terms for whore, slut and bitch come across clear.  What are you doing? I asked.  What is the meaning of your outburst?  I understand the frustration but what are you doing? Turns out that there is more to cultural concerns then just being open and honest. Having come from West Africa he has seen the face of HIV, he has seen people die, has watched the children become abandon.  I say yes I understand that, I worked ACT-UP back in the day, but things are different now, I blunder on about what I would have learned in school.. With treatment the other partner can stay negative. I haven’t slept with anyone, I am dating him.  But instead of hearing the words of support and kindness all he has is words of darkness. Could this be true?  Love is patience love is kind, love is not here with him at this moment.  Even if I was a just a friend this is not kind or loving.. not even a little


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