Another day

I am meeting with my favorite PA – she sits down with me and shows me the paper. Yup says reactive, says it twice. You see after the first test comes back then the run a confirmation test. What do we do next?  I only have health insurance until the last day of the month, Obama care will not start until the following month.  PA explains that I need to see an infectious disease doctor I can go north or south, either way it is an hour drive.  The earliest appointment is in two weeks, they will be able to tell me things.  That is the last day of my insurance too.  What am I suppose to do until then?  Won’t she just see me, I don’t want to go anywhere else?  My PA is a family PA, she doesn’t know what to do with me having HIV. She gives me a hug and says she is sorry.  I look brave and say “Life is a journey, this just makes the journey a bit more of a difficult challenge” She says she has checked with her MD and did I want to have the children tested?  I said why? Don’t think that is necessary.  As I left the room, I turned and looked down the hallway, there is my kids pediatrician and two other nurses, they make eye contact, I am shocked and saddened at the pity that I see from them.  They are good people, they care for all of us, and care well for us but, this is awful.  My first experience with people that are aware of my status and this is the response I get?  Am I am alone? If I wasn’t, I am now..


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