Journey continues —what next

I am off work for three days, I go back to work. My DON comes to talk to me, asks me if I am alright, she was worried.  I lie.. I say I am fine, started some new meds for GI upset and they did that they upset my GI won’t be taking that anymore.  She smiles and walks away.  I work in a small town, I live in a small town, the place I work will not take patient that are positive, what would they do if they found out that I was positive.  Discrimination protection is only a piece of paper, it is nothing else. It will not feed my family, or cover the rent.  I am sucked into this pretend false world of discrimination and play acting.  I cry on the way to work and I weep on my way home.  But I don’t stop taking the medication.  Once you start you cannot stop.  That is the rule.  I want to be here for my kids, my life is unfolding in so many other ways.. someone is quoted as saying that you have to let go of the life you plan to make way for the life you are meant to have.. how do you do that?? I am working, keeping quite, not saying anything.  I am so tired.  The best thing people say to me is “you look tired” as if being a single parent makes you look tired.. I am scared.  But there is no other choice.. the parade continues and I have to catch up.. I just don’t know how?

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