It’s St Patrick Day, we are all home, having had a great time at a parade earlier. My daughters favorite holiday is St. Patrick Day, we make it a big deal, the rest of the holidays are difficult but today was perfect. I am making dinner, thinking about my year so far. I have broken up with the man I was dating for four years sometime ago, had my last HIV test last week, not thinking too much about it. We did are tests before we started doing anything and I don’t cheat. We parted as friends. I started dating the brother of a friend in Italy. Skype is an amazing thing, this new generation of meeting people. We have been talking for a while, he is coming to me in about ten days. I was surprised when I got a phone call from his brother in Jersey and when he put his brother on the phone I was so happy. He had arrived a week early! I was so thrilled. We spoke for a short time but I was very happy. I went back to parenting things when the phone rang again. It was my favorite PA – she was calling with my results.. she said to me “I am so sorry but your test is reactive” What??? reactive for what? Just like that my life went into a tail spin. Reactive for HIV, yes HIV. How is that possible? I only slept with one person for four years, I had been celibate for seventeen years prior to that – what do you mean reactive? Well that is different. She asked me if I wanted to come and sit down and talk with her, it was seven thirty close to eight at night, I have stories to read to children. Children who needed me in so many different ways. As a single parent there is no one but me. Reactive really? What does that mean? What do I do now? Who am I suppose to talk to about this? What do you mean reactive? I decline to come in this night, give it a minute and we will visit..