One cannot fall off the floor…but one can be stomped

I am applying for SSDI… seems that my old place of employment found out, was informed, someone chatted that I had this plague and since they do not even allow any of their residents to have the plague you could imagine what that would mean to have people working there with the plague… you can be selling meth to the residents, sleeping the the staff, steeling food from the kitchen, or supplies from the boxes.. but heaven help you if you have the plague.  All of a sudden the granddaughter of the owner was needed more hours.  I was informed that there were not enough hours. I miss the people I cared for, wondering if they are doing alright.  But I got a stern letter stating it would be best not to come to the building for any reason at anytime, and since I am no longer employed there they could not think of any reason that should be a concern.  Love ignorant people.  So I spent those five days in June being ill, and I have been on and off dealing with the not so pretty side effects but I do try to give it a go.. it is all I can do to pray for them..

I am on the floor now, unemployed, not feeling well, in pain, not seeing how this is going to work, even if SSDI does come through it will be months.. and I have bills to pay, I have children who need shoes.. as Billy Joel says .. we all struggle.. and I pray for people yes, but I also assist them in any way possible.  When I was young and had to have surgery that left me in bed for six weeks, I wanted to take a bath so bad in my tub.. and my estranged mother would call every fourth day to check on me and she would ask me what she could do and I would say, Mom I would like to take a bath in the tub but it needs to be cleaned first.. she would tell me that she would not be doing that.. but she would pray for me.. pissed me off a great deal.. that my mother did not care enough about me to wash out a tub so I could get clean per doctor orders… very pissed off.. so now when I say I will pray for you I also ask what is it that I might be able to assist you with to lighten you load… it might not be much but I can do laundry to take the kids for a few hours.. pray is like theory where actions are akin to praxis… lavish me with praxis  please.. someone anyone.. please.. just do not want to get stomped on while am not falling off the floor..

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