Today, I woke up breathing..

unable to move, and my skin was on fire and I had pain, again.  I wept.  I reached for my phone and had an email from my right sister, who I love and appreciate.. she said “stop talking about dying you are freaking me out”  well that went well.  So when I emailed her back I said I was fine, totally fine, no worries here.  Everyone and everything is just fine.  I found an article on MSN this day about a young child of ten that was born with HIV and the doctors were going to inform her of what she had.  they said “do not be ashamed, but don’t tell anyone”  because “ignorant people” can say mean things and not understand. There was some more about medication and side effects and how after twenty years of taking meds someone stopped and developed brain bad stuff and went blind and then died…@23…..so I take my meds every night… I put up with the side effects, will see the doctor this week, will need to ask for prescriptions for different things, since my right PA out having a baby…I have managed to take a shower today, the PRN’s for pain are starting to kick in.. it is three pm in the afternoon, I have done nothing but wake up and breathe and take a shower… and that took 8 hours.. I did hold my grandchild and weep after I read my sisters email.. but I suppose people can only do what they can do.. and she cannot do anything else.. I did share that I got a theripist finally, and that she believes I have PTSD.. to which my sister said “good” … so I am going to go now and see if I can make supper for my adorable family and then I am going to lay down on my bed and wait for the medication to work, hopefully read some before hopefully and I pray a great deal.. sleep will arrive and be a good sleep…if you ask me, how I am doing, I will say I am doing just fine… I will lie because you cannot handle or want to know the truth… that is what love is I guess.. breathing..at least that doesn’t hurt…

Advertisements

Thank you for sharing below.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s