Another day, another thought..

I confessed to Father that I would not kill myself but that the struggle was a difficult one, that there were more days then not but that at the moment it had been a while since I pondered the concept. Today I pondered again.. there is pain and pain makes things difficult.. there are responsibilities that are not keen on pain pills so I just tough it out as best I can.. not sure how much longer I can go on.. it is not that I want to die, it is that I want to be able to live.. and I am just not sure how to do that.. there is much to discuss but my hand hurts too much to type.. so goes life with HIV.. how do you live your life with HIV?  I am not sure how.. and that is a problem..

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