Where is the love

Where is the love?  I wonder at times when I look in the mirror or have to think about what to do next.  When there is no one else from whom I can ask questions I am not sure what to do next or if what is happening to me is normal for this disease.  Since there are no doctors about here that treat HIV it is a joke to figure out what to do or ask or wonder..This week started out with the whole family in the house but then some had to leave and I went to bed and woke up and had pooped myself in my sleep, is that normal?  It never has happened before. I have not felt well all week, have not felt well for a long time and I am tired of that.. so where is the love?  The direction and concern.. I need some assistance please

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