It is the 17th of the month, the rains came today and the backyard has a lake in it. There is no word from the disability lawyer yet. The shady university sent my Perkins loan to collection even after bankruptcy a a total and permanent disability status from the Department of Education.. arguing with me about the rules.. I know the rules.. then I read about the number of people who have died from drug overdoses as the same number as were dying at the height of the AIDS epidemic and it went on to say that it was mostly HIV/AIDS people dying of the over doses because their world has stopped while everyone else has gone on around them.. and I understood the feeling… everything has been taken from me and I am not sure how to get anything back. The bank is overdrawn by 40$ now, the disability is still a no show, the one person working in the house doesn’t get paid until Friday and she works like three hours a day for less then she deserves but, it is all we have to pay any bills with but, nobody hears me scream!! COME ON MR. SHEEN!!!!! What’s it worth to you to be on the up side of this no longer a death sentence unless your poor condition? I would really like to know! Agreed it is unfair to just call out Mr. Sheen but he was the one who responded with the greatest fear and that fear cost him his job at the top of the season. Others have come and gone with HIV and are still on top of things.. Mr. Magic is working to bring the magic back to the Lakers, people are dancing on Broadway! Money is being raised to deal with the HIV/AIDS problem but it is not being spent on the poor among us, is it? I was informed the other day when I requested assisted from the church that a childcare bill for a child I am responsible for was not something they covered because “Their AIDS funds were not for extended family members” ‘Their AIDS fund” wonder how that works for them.. do they freak out when ‘their’ AIDS fund gets overdrawn in the middle of the month? When there is no money for things that food stamps don’t buy? When there is a small child who looks loving at you as you make their whole world spin and asks for a milk shake and you have to say no! A DAMN MILKSHAKE!!!! Come on Mr. Sheen!!! SOMEONE TELL ME HOW THE HELL IT FEELS!!! TO BE AT THE OTHER END OF THE SPECTRUM!!! Able to afford the medical bills on top of the shorts, shoes and food that needs to be paid for, the diapers and wipes and the idea I may never NEVER be able to work again!! NEVER!!! JK Rowlings was all about do I kill myself or write a story that will grow into the biggest thing in history.. guess I will write and it worked for her but, where does that leave the thousands of us that are living so far below the poverty line that we cannot even see the top of the curb?? ‘Their AIDS fund’ does anyone understand why that is so offensive????? I should be making 75,000$ a year!! I Should be in a forever home with my children not worrying about the next bill, or running in shoes that came apart again because Gorilla Glue doesn’t hold everything together!!! But I am not, I am in public housing, on food stamps, fighting for my life and the life of my kids, every day!! and the older ones are fighting even harder to be able to break the circle! When I worked we gave to charity every week, figured out how much it would cost a family our size a month and we donated that to the church, the church with ‘their AIDS fund’..there are things done in silence for others that do not need to be told and I don’t know when that energy comes around again in the universe but, I am praying it comes around soon!!!