Still there seems like no way …

to survive. How am I to do this? The pain is getting worse, I have to go to the pain clinic and I am having troubles walking, standing etc.. way worse then in the beginning. Now I worry about dying because my government doesn’t care about health care for all, but I can’t move so good. I don’t know why.. my children need me, my boys the baby, the girls.. it seems that I keep working on making a way and I keep getting stuck.. poverty and disease are rotten working tools. I miss so much of my kids lives. I didn’t get to go to see the fireworks with the kids, I missed that so much, it is the one holiday I enjoy a year and now it is gone, again. I am tired. I keep working on making a way and I get knocked down again. Facebook shows stores about Angelia Jo and being bullyed and dropping out of school and cutting herself.. then she got a movie or three hundred and now she adopt kids to never self harm again. My daughter asked me the other day about a village raising a child, well that only works if the village wants to or likes children or the person having the child, so you need a village or you need funding. I don’t have a village, Charlie Sheen has not stepped up with a house and a small start up fund for a little farm, at least not yet. So I am going to go to bed and hopefully wake up tomorrow and keep working along to find that way.. because the grave is not our goal, from dust though art to dust returnest was not spoken of the soul

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