So now everyone knows the details of the relationship that has caused me such hell and still does but, why? Why are the details so freaking important? Why is it not enough to say he hurt me or he ended my life? Why is it so important to go through step by step the damage and look at it like some psych class.. people know all about battered women and long honey cons as they look like these days but it is not that easy when you are living in one. The years that I thought this is what it was suppose to be, only to find out that evil is easy to make look pretty. What am I suppose to do? You know you can post an ad on Craigslist for sex and in less then 48 hours get over 250+ responses.. but post an ad for assistance because your dying and nobody replies. One person might say look into social programs. Guess what you live in AMERICA dummy, we don’t do Social programs.. have you seen congress lately? We do millions for the millionaires and death for the poor. What would our forefathers say if they could see us know? Fought and died to protect the sense of liberty and freedom and protection of people. But now you can abuse and kill people if you are white or a cop and get away with it and people are surprised? Like it hasn’t been happening for the last hundred years. My life is my own but it has been damaged. I have spoken with more HIV people and programs in the past two years then I can count and there is nothing. One single mother, unable to work, fighting varies illnesses on top of some serious trauma, working on keeping her kids out of it, so that they are not targeted, scared or any of the other things that a child could be when they find out their only parent, their mother that they love so much has been abused, beaten and raped by the person they thought loved us all? I am just one person, one person – raising five kids and a granddaughter – Why is it that nobody cares? I go to church when I can get there, I pray everyday for several hours but it is scary to think that nobody is going to stand by me, say my name or even assist me with the most basic of needs – housing, food, clothes, shelter, and the likes.. I take one drug that I need to live but have so many other drugs to deal with taking that one pill. What happens when you take poison for decades? Just to live? Makes living a full time job is what it is. Where is that blessed rest assurance? Where is that HIV family that can answer so many questions that I have? Thirty years this virus has ravaged the world, it is not done and by the looks of congress it is just getting it’s second life. Doctors don’t want you stock piling pills but hell, when there is no way to get them it gets to be the only way to stay alive, and even so you are looking at months, not years.. GOD HELP ME! and since God is busy in MEXICO and YEMEN and several other places.. can someone who reads this please assist me? Pass it on to someone who can? A kind person who would rather keep a family together and alive instead of going to McDonald’s?? Just a thought.. times are tough all around.. but not for everybody.. I am calling you out.. if you can read this and can afford dinner out.. you can afford to assist a poor family buy winter clothes..