It had been a good day…

Then I had a conversation with a family member who lives far away.. who was speaking about how on the TV when they talk about side effects of the medication that for example is to help you quit smoking when you are done listening to all that you are happy to go on smoking.. we talked about that for a while and about the long list of my side effects but because I am so stupid and think that people still love me… I didn’t link up what they were trying to say with what they were saying.. if the side effects of the medication are so bad.. which is the whole problem at the moment.. then what is the good of the quality of life? My life? Is my life worth the $3422.24 per month some $48,000 a year, if I live to be as old as that family member you are looking at an area of $1.5million to keep me alive.. vomiting on a daily basis, pooping my pants, not sleeping, terror filled sleep when I do sleep.. joint pain, and whatever the list is that is so freaking long.. so now I am just frustrated.. alone, isolated, the people who do know don’t care – they even suggest it would be better if I just didn’t take the medication..It had been a good day.. now it is just the dark of my despair.. on less person to talk with I guess..

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