Where Have I been???!!

Seems that not everyone is as up to date with facts of life with HIV as others. I have a chiropractor who I think is a good chiropractor but they believe strongly that after some magic numbers of years on medication a person is just cured of HIV and then life is better.. like magic.. I work on changing that perspective but it does not work.. They said to me yesterday after I just spent six days throwing up and other things that are no fun, have lost 8 pounds so far this week and still eating only crackers.. think I broke a rib fro the throwing up.. all from the medication.. but they said to me yesterday that “as long as I take my medication and not have multiple partners I should be alright.” Okay, is that a statement on how you think I am living? Do you think I am just busy with multiple partners??? Would it surprise you to find out that I have had just two??? One that died over two decades now and then I waited 17 years to date again because I had children to raise? That after 17 years I dated for what five years before I discovered that it was all just one big lie?? There is so much that people say that they just don’t believe.. Lip service I believe it is called.. I am fighting everyday for just another day but once someone finds out that I am sick there are just places they go that are no good!
I am tired, but that is what the fight looks like my child said to me the other day about all fights that wage against oppression. I am literally drowning here while the concept of disability is debated by federal agencies, that can’t even agree with each other! I have been totally disabled by one for over a year but it will be another month before the hearing for Social Security Disability comes around. AN OTHER MONTH!!!! That is another 30 days of running a seven person household on less then 500$ a month! How do you run a household on donations and good thoughts? The answer is that you don’t! That the kids don’t have winter clothes or that the baby needs this or that or that the tires need replacing, or that I can’t pick up my medication from the pharmacy because I don’t have the co-pay.. go ahead and tell me about the holiday season and I will give you a list! And it is just not me, there are several families in my town, in isolation and desperation to just cover basic things while fighting to stay alive! We are not harlots! We are not families less deserving then others!!! We are just families on very hard times dealing with a disease that makes even the doctors that treat us nervous that if the public found out that they treated someone with HIV that they would loose revenue! I am sure that is the reason the chiropractor is so very worried when he sees me. I am just one person, I am not a threat, nor am I someone to be dismissed! Read whichever Holy Book you cling too and then explain to me why it is that in such a time in such an area that so many of us are drowning!!??


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